Been Hurt

Well,
you have succeed to make me down, shocked and stressful.
I really didn't expect what the words that you said to explain about it.
You seems different person to me.
If she is just a friend, an old friend, why you have to told her about us, about you that was single, about you, you didn't know when to get married and still looking for someone BETTER, cause you had broken heart.
It's not that I really expect from a person like you.
And when I confirm that to you, you said I was cornering and judging you.
I was said I just want to ask who is she and I would like to tell how hurt I was reading your chat mentioning about our relationship, and you was looking for someone better, with a woman.
I just want you to know my feeling.
I don't want to confrontate you, not at all.
But you receive my words as the accusation, and told me that I was not supposed to talk like that.
When I talk very carefully to show that I care about your feeling, that I don't want it to be hurt, you said I was crinkled.
And what you said just so.. so.. what do you want?
It's not like you at all.
I was so dissapointed.
Yes, I made mistakes, maybe my words it's too rude for you, but I didn't do like you do.
It's hurt so much that words.
Just if you can read your conversation again, you will understand, or ask your friend, woman of course, and told her to have my position, what would she do?
You was asking her address, asking her status again and again, asking her phone number, asking her Blackberry PIN.
What do you thinking of my feeling read that all the stuff?
You said to me I can call her and confirm if there is something between them but I won't, I will never do that thing. Because it will prove that I didn't trust you and I was a pathetic jealousy girl who can't taking care of her boyfriend.
And I am not, I trust you and I'm not that kind of girl.
But I can't see you exactly as you were.
There are so much changed in you.
I find myself hard to recognize you as my sweetheart.
Because what I know is you are not kind of man like that, you are like a person who always loyal to his girlfriend.
Maybe it's just a chat for you, and you were angry and pissed off but I was hurt so much when I read that, it change a lot my perspective of you.
I feel different now with you, like I was with another guy whom I don't know.
I can't be myself anymore with you.
I always feel afraid that you will angry and leave me whenever you want.
I always feel that I am afraid I was disturbing your work/job.
I always feel sad whenever I thinking about what your father has said and your last conversation with the woman.
I don't know, maybe I'm overwhelming, but I'm really sorry I don't feel the same to you anymore.
And I know it will affecting our relationship whether you realized it or not.
I want the old you :(
Now, when I really think that you are different person, there is a burden on my shoulder, my family.. they like you so much, they want me to be happy with you, but I feel different now, especially when I found out about the conversation.
I need time to be alone right now maybe, but time is running out.
I really love my family and I don't want to see them sad and to be embarrassed of me.
You knew I was hurt so much, and you even didn't say sorry about that :(
I was so much hurt and dissapointed than before..