Oriflame November

ayo buruan gabung di bulan November ini..
ada promo menarik :)

November Rain

Welcome November!

Finally we get to November, hope that this November better than October.
And finally, I have decided that I have to wake up, I used to refused to wake up, I just dreaming for this one month, still hoping something good will happen, and everything will be fixed up, till I think about myself, my family, I can't be like this forever, I had to move on. Like or not, I have to give it up, I have to let my feeling go, although it's very hard.
no more dreaming, no more imagining, no more memories.
I have frozen my heart and my mind for any memories about my past, and my focus now is just for my family.
I have to face it up, I realized that first step that I had to make is to face it all, to face that this is life, this is the lesson that I got, it's just life and I have to be sure that Allah's preparing something good for me, Allah's never wrong.
I have think that if I'm always remember all those things I can't move on, my friend has told me that if I wanna move on, try not to remember it anymore.
And I have read one story, if you keep walking through the storm, finally you will pass the storm and when you look back, the storm is behind you, the people who choose to stay in it, will never know when the storm will be over, but if you keep walking, you will pass storm and see the rainbow, so just keep moving on.
Selamat datang November, semangat!!! :)

ORIFLAME CATALOG 11

ayooo belanjaaaa..
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pesanan bisa diantar ke rumah selama masih daerah medan :)

ayooo percantik dirimu girls
^_^

hallo semua,

Katalog oriflame bulan oktobe bisa dilihat disini
Sampe besok dan lusa aja sih masa berlakunya, tapi masih bisa pesen kok.
bagi yg mau order/join untuk wilayah Medan bisa tinggalin komentar ato hubungi saya di 081310520015 ya, pin BB by sms.
untuk order bisa diantar ke rumah (daerah tertentu ya).
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terima kasih..

I wish you knew..

I don't why, you say goodbye, you let me go so fast as you didn't need me anymore..
You've changed, you are not the one I met two years ago.
The one who always by my side when I am down, and always support me whenever I need.
if you just remember the time we spent together.
the moment we shared.
how I teach you to do this and to do that, so everyone will have respect on you, so you won't be shy anymore, so I can proudly hold your hand and say out loud to other people who stared suspiciously at us "yes, this is my man!"
I didn't mean that I want to change your life and I hate your look.
I love you just the way you are!
I just want to make you feel better :) because I love you, I don't want you feel bad of yourself, and I want you to feel comfort when we were walking together dear..

when I said about my feeling about your company, it offended your self-esteem maybe.
but it just because I'm not feel comfortable about it.
you said I didn't support you on your job, that's make me down and upset.
I wish you knew, I'm always trying to support you, I try to do my best when you ask for my help..

these two years just gone by without any memories?
you just left me here, with all the memories, and let yourself forget it at all.
maybe easier for you because you were not here, you were not living by the memories, you were not on the same place where we spent our time together..
so you'll just forget me as the other thing in your life, maybe even you hate to make it easier..
but for me? it needs thousands time effort for me try to move on on my life.
I cannot hate you, the feeling that I have for you will always remain the same, but maybe in different way now.
like you always said, you love me so much, always and forever..
maybe I didn't saying those sentence everyday, but it remains in my heart, in every beat of my heart, it didn't have to be said, but deep inside it graven on my heart.
although you hate me, although you have hurt me, although you have hurt my family..
I trust you that you love me so much, but why you've changed so much?
you were not the same person who make me fall in love.
fool me, I give all my heart and my love for you.
I even love you more that I love myself, that's why even you hurt me so many times I always forgive you, why you cannot do the same thing for me?
when I lost you, it feels like I lost everything.
and I learn from that mistakes to my next step, and next relationship.

I try to put my heart into one piece again after it broke.
I try to move on, but our memories will always be in my heart :)

goodbye is the saddest word that I want to say but I have to..
Welcome new life, please meet the new me :)

feeling

Huff..
I don't know how I describe my feeling right now, maybe it's because of my pre-menstruation syndrom that I have so many bad mood yesterday and also today.
It also makes me so sensitive today.
I don't know..
Even with his attitude today :(
I.. I just don't get it, I just feel that he didn't love as much as he used to be..
I thought I lost him, I barely even didn't recognize him as the one that I love.
I felt that my love for him is just getting bigger day by day, but not with him, I felt the opposite.
I know with the great power came great responsibilities also, but I just can't understand it.
I lost the sweetest thing of him. I lost his attention, I lost himself..
everything is totally different since our reconciliation last month, like I don't know him no more. I know I was wrong that's why I feel guilty and I said sorry, but it seems that soory wasn't enough for him. And to be honest, knowing that he could turn around to another girl so fast than I though it's really scares me so much. I even dreamed that he was cheating on me, look how fool I am, hahaha..
Everything was so different since he worked out of my town, and he get nice position there.
I was happy, but I didn't expect that he changed so much.
He used to be very nice, he didn't want me to think so hard, or so worried about something because I ride a motorcycle and it need concentration, he even kept it by himself when he was in the hospital. He didn't want me to know if he had any problem, or he has a bad mood, he just always happy to be with me, something that I couldn't see anymore nowadays :(
the more I learn to be patient with him, the more he become so suck, ugh..
Huff..
I don't know, it is getting closer to our big day but I just know his bad attitude.
Makes me so bad, makes me confuse and in doubt.
I now that he has got everything now, position in his job, I even had told him that he can get any girl that he wants now, but of course I am the only one for him.
I just... it's hard for me to get the feeling, secure feeling that I used to be had.
I feel insecure, I feel he will leave me anytime he get the better one :(
I know I didn't suppose to be like this, but I just can't feel myself anymore, I was so bad, I was in a very bad mood time now :(
I think I'm stress out!!

Been Hurt

Well,
you have succeed to make me down, shocked and stressful.
I really didn't expect what the words that you said to explain about it.
You seems different person to me.
If she is just a friend, an old friend, why you have to told her about us, about you that was single, about you, you didn't know when to get married and still looking for someone BETTER, cause you had broken heart.
It's not that I really expect from a person like you.
And when I confirm that to you, you said I was cornering and judging you.
I was said I just want to ask who is she and I would like to tell how hurt I was reading your chat mentioning about our relationship, and you was looking for someone better, with a woman.
I just want you to know my feeling.
I don't want to confrontate you, not at all.
But you receive my words as the accusation, and told me that I was not supposed to talk like that.
When I talk very carefully to show that I care about your feeling, that I don't want it to be hurt, you said I was crinkled.
And what you said just so.. so.. what do you want?
It's not like you at all.
I was so dissapointed.
Yes, I made mistakes, maybe my words it's too rude for you, but I didn't do like you do.
It's hurt so much that words.
Just if you can read your conversation again, you will understand, or ask your friend, woman of course, and told her to have my position, what would she do?
You was asking her address, asking her status again and again, asking her phone number, asking her Blackberry PIN.
What do you thinking of my feeling read that all the stuff?
You said to me I can call her and confirm if there is something between them but I won't, I will never do that thing. Because it will prove that I didn't trust you and I was a pathetic jealousy girl who can't taking care of her boyfriend.
And I am not, I trust you and I'm not that kind of girl.
But I can't see you exactly as you were.
There are so much changed in you.
I find myself hard to recognize you as my sweetheart.
Because what I know is you are not kind of man like that, you are like a person who always loyal to his girlfriend.
Maybe it's just a chat for you, and you were angry and pissed off but I was hurt so much when I read that, it change a lot my perspective of you.
I feel different now with you, like I was with another guy whom I don't know.
I can't be myself anymore with you.
I always feel afraid that you will angry and leave me whenever you want.
I always feel that I am afraid I was disturbing your work/job.
I always feel sad whenever I thinking about what your father has said and your last conversation with the woman.
I don't know, maybe I'm overwhelming, but I'm really sorry I don't feel the same to you anymore.
And I know it will affecting our relationship whether you realized it or not.
I want the old you :(
Now, when I really think that you are different person, there is a burden on my shoulder, my family.. they like you so much, they want me to be happy with you, but I feel different now, especially when I found out about the conversation.
I need time to be alone right now maybe, but time is running out.
I really love my family and I don't want to see them sad and to be embarrassed of me.
You knew I was hurt so much, and you even didn't say sorry about that :(
I was so much hurt and dissapointed than before..